One Step Forward: Self Forgiveness

Once you accept yourself, the next step is to forgive yourself.

It may seem weird or you may have feelings come up of "but I can't... I did a bad thing and, therefore, I should be punished."

As children, many of us make this connection. We even come to believe that punishment is how we "pay for our sins" - that getting punished is how you balance the scales.

And so, as adults, we punish ourselves. We do a "bad thing" and then feel bad and guilt trip ourselves.

But part of a healthy maturing process is to learn that things aren't so simple.

Mistakes are part of life. We all make them. And making a mistake + feeling bad about it is actually in no way better than making a mistake and forgiving yourself for it.

In fact, studies show that self forgiveness is powerful - and may even be necessary for overcoming addictions (source).

How to Forgive Yourself

Write down 3-5 things you regret or feel ashamed of.
Write down 3-5 things that you dislike about yourself and feel ashamed of in yourself.
For each of the things you wrote down in Steps 1 & 2, write down: "I forgive myself for [the thing]."
See what emotions, or resistance, come up. Write these down as well.
Lastly, write the self-forgiveness statement, from Step 3 above, at least 5 times. Pay attention to how your feelings about it change as you repeat this statement.
Then, repeat this process for each of the things you wrote down in Steps 1 & 2.

By the end of this exercise, you will be feeling super light and relieved. Like someone has just lifted a concrete block off your chest.

This is one of the greatest exercises in self-compassion and self-love. Looking forward to hearing about your experience in the community.

Action Steps

Watch this lesson's video
Using a pen & paper or note taking app, follow the steps above to practice self forgiveness

Day 17 – Can You Forgive Yourself?

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Introduction - Watch This First

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Weekly Challenges

Milestones