Shadow Work Part 2: Self-Acceptance

Many guys experience a drive to improve themselves that initially comes from self-hatred.

You hate how you look in the mirror so you start going to the gym. You hate how your attention span is eroding and you have no life, so you quit porn, quit social media and start doing something meaningful.

This disappointment with yourself and self hatred can be a good motivator. But it becomes a problem when you feel like you need to hate yourself in order to sustain your good habits...

What I've discovered is that total self acceptance (and self love) unlock far greater levels of self improvement than any form of self hatred could. And I want you to experience the same.

In the resources at the bottom of this lesson, there's a link to a podcast episode I did that's a real deep dive into this topic. Check it out if you want to know more.

The Escalating Self-Acceptance Exercise

This is today's exercise. I want you to write out a series of escalating statements of self-acceptance.

The intensity of the statement and self-acceptance needs to increase with each sentence.

For example. Write out the following statements by hand:

I accept myself.
I accept myself just the way I am.
I love and accept myself just the way I am.
I love and accept myself just the way I am right now.
I love and accept myself just the way I am right now, with all my flaws.
I love and accept myself just the way I am right now, with all my flaws and the mistakes I have made.
I wholeheartedly love and accept myself just the way I am right now, with all my flaws and the mistakes I have made.
I completely and wholeheartedly love and accept myself just the way I am right now, with all my flaws and the mistakes I have made.
I completely and wholeheartedly, with every fibre of my being, love and accept myself just the way I am right now, with all my flaws and the mistakes I have made.

You can keep going and write stronger and stronger self-acceptance statements to elicit an emotional response from yourself.

This emotional response can happen at any stage or sentence in this exercise.

What we're looking for is an emotional spike that says "but I can't accept myself because..." and then you write out everything that voice tells you.

This is the underlying story for why you can't accept yourself right now.

Our goal here is to uncover this underlying story, examine it, and ask:

Is this really true?
Do I really believe this?
What else could be true?

We just want to gently question our stories and see if we can let go of the ones that are no longer serving us.

Action Steps

Watch this lesson's video
Do the escalating self-acceptance exercise until you feel an emotional response

Day 12 – Can You REALLY Accept Yourself?

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Introduction - Watch This First

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Weekly Challenges

Milestones